Nul Points
by Gary Merchant
Summary: The Doctor and Jo Grant investigate the Eurovision Song Contest. I'm serious.


NUL POINTS

Not for the first time, Jo found the Doctor tinkering with one of his many gadgets. Not that this could be termed a gadget as such; it was far too large for that. If she had to make a comparison, it looked like a huge clock, but with no hands. Instead, the central face was a vid-screen of some sort. "Doctor, what are you doing under there?"

He grinned up to her from beneath the open base. "Just making a few minor adjustments, Jo." After a few moments more, the Doctor closed the panel and wiped his hands on a cloth. "It's been a while since I had any use out of this."

"So, what is it then? Some sort of futuristic washing machine?"

"Jo!" The Doctor shot her a look of mock hurt. "This is a Time Space Visualiser," he explained. "It allows you to view any major point in history, from the past or the future. You just set the dials to the year and event you want to see, and it's played out for you on the screen." He beamed. "I was given this as a gift for liberating the planet Lobos."

Jo gulped. "That's quite a gift! So, if you can see what happening in the past or future, why haven't you used it more often?"

"Ah, well if I did that," the Doctor replied, "then where's the adventure? What's the point in travelling to some long forgotten planet in the universe, if we already know what's going to happen?"

Jo couldn't argue with that. "So why dust it down now?"

"Oh, just to run a few tests." A thought occurred to him. "Why don't you choose somewhere, Jo? It doesn't have to be a grand historic event," he added. "In fact, the more obscure, the better."

She grinned, an idea already forming. "All right. How about this?" Jo began to reset the dials.

The Doctor peered over her shoulder, curious. "The Eurovision Song Contest?"

Jo nodded. "In 2005. I just want to see how music has changed in the future."

The Doctor sighed. "Well, if that's what you want…" He activated the screen and joined Jo on the nearby couch.

"Well, that was a bit of a swizz," Jo complained, as the end credits played. "It was all a fix."

"Not really," said the Doctor. "After all, you'd expect neighbouring countries to vote for each other – even if it does make a mockery of the whole contest."

Jo shrugged. "It was a shame our entry didn't do better than third from the bottom."

"Yes, now that was strange," the Doctor agreed. "I rather think that Terry Wogan chap had it exactly right – that the top European countries didn't get a look in."

"Well, it was only a song contest," said Jo. "Not exactly a major event in terms of Earth history."

"Hmm." The Doctor was deep in thought. "I wonder…" He abruptly stood up and made for the TARDIS. "Come on, Jo. We're going for a spin."

She hurried after him. "Where to?"

"To the Ukraine, where that song contest was held." He took in Jo's confused stare. "I rather think there's more to this than just a simple competition."

The TARDIS landed in a foyer of a nearby hotel in Kiev. "Doctor, what are we doing here?" Jo asked, as they stepped out from the ship.

"Well, I couldn't very well arrive at the venue itself, now could I, Jo," he replied. "At least here we can catch our breath before the main event. Let's get ourselves checked in first." He led Jo toward the front reception, catching the attention of the clerk. "I have a reservation under the name of Smith. Two single rooms."

The clerk checked the book. "I'm sorry sir, but I can find nothing under that name."

The Doctor smiled. "Do you mind if I look for myself?" He grabbed the book before the clerk could reply, and scanned the pages. "Yes, here it is. Right there."

The clerk followed the path of the Doctor's pointing finger. Sure enough, there was a booking for two single rooms under the name of Smith. How could he have missed it? "I can only apologise, sir. Things are rather hectic."

"I quite understand." The Doctor smiled as he took the proffered keys.

Half an hour later, and the Doctor and Jo were relaxing in the hotel bar, enjoying the best hospitality money could buy. They had actually arrived the night before the song contest – presumably to get their bearings, Jo guessed. "You tricked that poor man somehow."

"The clerk?" The Doctor sipped a rather good brandy. "Not really, Jo. He just saw what I wanted him to see."

She nodded. "Some sort of hypnotism, I'll bet."

"Something like that," he admitted. "Not that I hear you complaining, Miss Grant."

"Well, it's not every day I get to spend the night in a posh hotel." The two friends smiled, enjoying a rare break from the usual running around. But Jo knew they could not relax completely. "So, come on, Doctor. Why are we here?"

"It was after watching that song contest," he replied. "I knew there was something wrong. And I don't just mean the voting."

"So we're talking alien interference?"

"It's a possibility," the Doctor admitted. "Think of it Jo – it starts with just a simple contest, with the voting rigged against the main European countries. But how simple would it be to engineer something more elaborate? Something that might result in the break down of trust between allied countries, and ending in war?"

Jo could hardly take it in. "You make it sound so easy."

The Doctor regarded her seriously. "Jo, anything is possible if someone really has the capability."

Jo sighed, realising their short break was almost over. "So, where do we start?"

"Well, we can't do anything until the morning," the Doctor reasoned. "By then, the performers will be getting ready for their final rehearsals." He stood up, and took Jo's hand. "In the meantime, I think we ought to retire to our rooms and get some sleep. If I'm right, tomorrow will hardly be an ordinary day."

They had arrived at the Sports Palace in good time the following morning. She was doubtful that the Doctor had slept much, if at all, but Jo was surprised at how well she herself had slept through the night. It was only later that the Doctor admitted to using some gentle Venusian pressure on her wrist when he'd taken her hand at the end of the evening, so that she would be asleep once her head hit the pillow.

There had been a brief altercation from one of the backstage crew, when it had been assumed that they were one of the acts, but after Jo had smoothed things over they were allowed to take two seats at the back of the auditorium.

The Doctor and Jo sat patiently through the rehearsals. "Of all the nerve," the Doctor muttered. "Thinking we were one of the performers."

Jo was about to pass comment at the Doctor's frilled shirt and smoking jacket, when she remembered what she was wearing – a flowery, wide collar shirt, with a white flared trouser suit. At first she'd thought there might have been a localised time shift, but it soon became clear that fashions had gone retro in 2005 – flares and platform shoes were back in fashion. Even the performers' stage clothes weren't that much more wild than the day clothes Jo wore in her own time.

She leaned closer to the Doctor. "What are we looking for? We've seen all the acts before."

"I know," he whispered back. "I'm rather more interested in… ah, here they are." The Doctor pointed down to the stage where the show's presenters were taking their places. "Now, let's see if I'm right."

The man and the woman began reading from the autocue. The man's voice was moderate and level, while the woman's voice was more strident, almost screeching.

Jo winced. "You'd think she'd be a bit quieter. Apart from us, this place is almost empty."

"Yes, she is rather loud," the Doctor agreed. "As if it were normal for her." He fished in his pockets and pulled out a pair of opera glasses. He peered through them for a moment, and then handed them to Jo. "Focus on the woman, and tell me what you see."

Jo adjusted the focus controls and peered through the glasses. "Who is she?" she asked, pointing to the woman.

"According to the official programme, her name's Maria Efrosinina," the Doctor told her. "But apart from the fact that she's co-host for this evening, there's not much more known about her."

Through the glasses, Jo studied the woman's face, looking for anything unusual. Obviously the Doctor had seen something, so this was testing Jo's powers of observation. She almost missed it, until she looked again, waiting to confirm what she had seen. "It's the eyes," she said at last. "Her normal rate of blinking isn't as regular as it should be."

"Well done, Jo," the Doctor congratulated her. "I couldn't have put it better."

"So, she is an alien." Jo put the glasses down and made to leave her seat. "What are we waiting for? Let's put a stop to whatever she's up to."

The Doctor grabbed her arm, gently pulling her back down. "Hold on, Jo. It isn't as simple as that. We have to know what we're up against first. And then there's the problem of future historical fact."

"Come again?" Jo was puzzled.

"We've already seen this contest take place thanks to the Visualiser," the Doctor explained. "As far as we're concerned, it's an event that has already happened, so we can't change the outcome."

Jo was appalled. "You mean to say we've come all this way, and even though this is in Earth's future we can't change anything?"

The Doctor smiled. "I only said we can't change the outcome. We may be able to affect some small scenario within the main event." He rose from his seat, leading Jo out of the auditorium. "Let's get back to the TARDIS, Jo. I need to check the data banks against what we've so far learned about our Miss Efrosinina."

Jo nodded. "And then what?"

"Ah." The Doctor smiled. "Well, I do have one or two ideas…"

The contest had gone off without too many problems. Greece had won, due in no small part to consistently high votes from sister countries. With the celebrations well underway, Maria Efrosinina watched from the side of the stage. The evening had gone well, and once she was away from this place…

A movement caught her eye and she turned. A man and a woman stood facing her. Their bearing suggested that they had not been part of the audience.

"Well done, Miss Efrosinina," the man called out. "A magnificent job."

She nodded, uncertain. "You are too kind. I only played a small part."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that, would you, my Lady?"

The young woman shook her head. "Oh no, my Lord. From what we've seen, you played quite a major role in ensuring that Greece won this year's contest – and from what we've discovered, you've been quite busy over the last few years."

Maria's face flushed with embarrassment. "Your words… my English is not so good. I don't know what you mean. I only…"

But the man raised his hand for silence. "You generated a hypnotic pulse to reach across the voting countries, so that the judges would give the marks you wanted. I imagine it must have taken quite a feat of mental energy to make it happen."

"Although one or two of the judges almost broke through your conditioning," the woman noted. "Now that would have made things difficult for a Frosini, wouldn't it?"

The colour drained from Maria Efrosinina's face at the mention of her species. "You know, then?"

"I suppose it was my voice that gave me away, is that it?" Maria had led the Doctor and Jo to one of the dressing rooms, where they could talk uninterrupted. "We Frosini have hardly been lacking when it comes to being vocal."

"That was only part of it," the Lady replied. "We Time Lords have been monitoring your movements for some time. The way you used your own race's name as part of the deception - Frosini to Efrosinina – that was very clever. But after tonight's events, we've got enough evidence to add to the charges already prepared against you."

Maria swallowed hard. "Charges?"

"Well, there's deception for a start," the Lord said. "Then unauthorised use of hypnosis for material gain. You don't deny that you're a confidence trickster?"

"Placing bets with other races on the outcome of an event," the Lady added. "And then disguising yourself as one of the presenters of that event so that you can manipulate the outcome, and then collect your winnings afterwards. You should be ashamed of yourself."

"It was only meant as fun," Maria insisted. "That is all."

"But how far could that bit of fun extend?" the Lord wondered. "Your species have a knack for causing minimal disruptions through the universe, but how long before such innocent games cause ripples in the time stream?"

"This may be just a song contest to you," the Lady explained. "But your interference could create long term damage within the time vortex. Are you prepared to accept the consequences?"

Maria at last realised the possible implications of her actions. "But we never mean to hurt anyone. It's just harmless fun."

The Lord's face was grave. "Harmless fun, eh? I doubt the High Council of the Time Lords would see it that way."

"Please." Maria was frantic with worry. "Can't you explain to them? Tell them that we don't mean any harm?"

The Lord seemed to consider. "Well, we would require some form of assurance on your part. A guarantee of good faith."

Maria leapt at the offer. "Anything. I'll do anything."

"Then leave this planet at once," he instructed. "And pass the word to the rest of your kind that Earth is now off limits to the Frosini."

"And if we find that those assurances have been ignored…" The Lady let the rest of the sentence hang in the air, its meaning clear.

Maria was quick to assure her visitors. "No, no, you have my word. Mine, and the rest of the Frosini."

"I suppose we were rather hard on her," Jo said later.

"Jo, you're not having second thoughts?"

"Well, we were a bit full on, weren't we, with all that Time Lord stuff." The two friends had prepared well for their meeting with Maria. The Doctor had coached Jo in what to say, so as to convince the Frosini of their credentials. And the regal style of her evening dress had helped the illusion that bit more.

"Well, a little embellishment doesn't hurt," the Doctor admitted. "Although a lot of what we said had a ring of truth about it."

"What, like all those ripples in time?"

"Oh yes." They were now back in the hotel bar, and at last able to fully relax. "I doubt that anything the Frosini did would cause any great catastrophe in the great scheme of things, but I suppose we may have nipped a potential glitch in the bud."

Jo sat back in her seat. "So, the Frosini go back home, Greece win the song contest this year, and everything goes on as it should?"

"Pretty much," the Doctor assured her. "Hopefully, the voting may be more even handed from now on."

Jo eyed him with more than a degree of scepticism. "Really, Doctor?"

He might have brazened it out, but there were times when Jo could read the Doctor like a book. "Well, perhaps not," he replied. "After all, there's a truism in life that's a constant throughout the universe."

"Which is?"

The Doctor half-smiled at Jo, defeated. "That there's absolutely no accounting for taste."


End file.
